Duggie Chop likes this site...
When Duggie tried to grab a guitar, things kind of fell apart.
Doland, a bit shaky from the dope just cowered in the corner [remember, Duggie's a big lad - even when he was a lad].
Nels tripped over the guitar lead - now taut, as Duggie was pulling the guitar - and demolished the drum kit. This time, rather than a guitar amp, a cymbal crashed out the window. They could hear it land, a distant dinner gong, crash-bonging as it began to roll down the High Street. Some kids were laughing and a police car blipped it's siren.
Matt, lead guitarist to Donald's rhythm [Duggie had grabbed Doland's yellow guitar], pushed down his shades, picked up his Gibson and got ready to battle Duggie in the guitar hero stakes.
"Ready to rock, big man?" said Matt, like a cheesey bit-part in a cliched rock 'n' roll road story, "there's a reason why they call these babies axes, you dig?"
"Balls!" said Duggie, "I know totally why they call 'em axes, big...whatever." And Mr Chop raised the guitar above his head - like Sidney Vicious, all those years ago - and bashed Matt over the head with it.
I suppose dope can make some people violent.
Duggie's mate, on the other hand, was comatosed by the door, sitting in a knackered looking armchair. The dust coming off that thing'll play havoc with his asthma.
[Then again, perhaps this was just Duggie's dope-dream vision - or nightmare]
"Woah," said Duggie, "I mean. What d'ya want to play Matt. I mean Mr Score, I mean..."
"Look my man, just chug along a bit of 12-bar, and we'll take it from there. You know, like Status Quo."
Duggie nodded. Just like the Beatles and the Let It Be film, more like. They just sat about chugging 12-bar. What is it about 12-bar and bands rehearsing? Why can't we jam some of 'Illustrations of Gargoyle'? [simple Duggie, Hair Tom didn't record it until 1985 - you're stuck in 1982!]
[Excuse me! (what? who are you?) I happen to be very much into Quo. And I don't like the fact that you associate Quo with 12-bar. It's as if you are saying that Quo is nothing BUT 12-bar. (a fair assumption Mr Status Quo man). Ah, but that's where you're wrong. It's not a fair assumption. Quo have done a wide range of music in their time. From hoary rockers, Alan Lancaster stylee, to country-tinged-pop, when Mr Rossi lets rip. Rick would always create the poppy, drug-referencing-rock-oriented-ballad. Or things like 'Mystery Song' (1976). But, you know, when it all comes togetheer. Well. Magic. Look, I remember compiling, back in 1986, a C90 (that's an audio cassette to you kids out there) that demonstrated the versatility of the Quo. From the lesser known work on 'Dog of Two Head' (1971) and 'Piledriver' (1972), right through to the classic 'Whatever You Want' (1979) LP tracks like 'Living on an Island'- featuring electro-acoustic guitars and the balls out/head down rockin' of 'Come Rock With Me/Rockin'On' from the same album. (you quite finished? I mean you've had your say) Yes, I'm satisfied - or, in Status Quo speak 'I Ain't Complaining' (1988).(anyway, you've had your say - but who's gonna defend the Beatles? I mean, they were accused of being good for nothing 12-bar-ers, too!)]
Meanwhile, across the road, across the decades to 2010, the shutters were coming up for the first time, from the windows of a cafe that no one had ever noticed before.
Inside, an artist scratched his head and squinted in the sunlight. The first day, he thought. The first day of nothing happening. No one will ever eat in this cafe. No one was ever going to.
Who was he artist? What was he doing? Find out soon.
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